My friend and I were role-playing and then this happened.

When Majora’s Mask tells you to do something, you fucking do it.

kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)
kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling. 
Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.
I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 
I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.
Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.
It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. 
I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.
Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”
Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me. 
Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.
I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.
Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P
Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.
Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…
Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)

kaydaeh:

This comic, Say Something, is a story that manifested from my desire to speak. Too often do I have thoughts that are incomplete because of their premature cutoff. That may have caused my incoherent speech patterns from time to time, but who knows?

Wow, I can really relate to this feeling.

Writing my thoughts is easy, but speaking them is very difficult for me. I always end up sounding like an idiot. It’s like something gets lost between my brain and my mouth. I can eventually get the words out if I am given the time to think through each word, one at a time, but conversations don’t work that way. They’re fast-paced and real-time. Trying to have a conversation, for me, it’s like improvising jazz. Unless I have the sheet music in front of me — a script to read from, in this metaphor — I can’t really speak. So I stay silent.

I’m not gonna give my whole life’s story here, but let’s just say I spent the majority of my childhood by myself, or if I was near anyone at all, they were always an adult and couldn’t get my way of thinking, not only because I was a child, but also because I was “gifted,” whatever the hell that means. I never really thought the way my peers did either. Different worldviews or somethin’. It made courting friends virtually impossible. 

I was silent through most of my school life, as every attempt at making a friend backfired somehow. Always silent at home too, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was three, and a single mother working her way through nursing school doesn’t exactly have much time to spend with her child. (I don’t resent my mother in any way, for the record. She sacrificed so much for me when I was growing up. I didn’t realize it back then, but as an adult looking back, I see that all the things she did, she did to give me a better life. I appreciate her more than anyone else in the world. I really want to repay her one day, somehow…) And I’m still silent at work to this day. Doesn’t help that I work in retail and regularly have to help customers. Luckily, I’m typically just asked where to find things or if we carry a specific item and a single utterance is all I need. “This way,” “Over there *points in a direction*,” “Follow me,” “Yeah, we have those.” Simple enough.

Anytime anyone tries to start a conversation though, I freak out inside and then subconsciously try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Basically, my mind sabotages itself, even against my own desires. This is what happened at school too and why everyone thought I was a jerk and stopped trying to talk to me. Mainly because I did come off like a jerk to someone looking in from the outside. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop it from happening. No matter how much I wanted to talk with someone, to form a bond with someone, anyone, it couldn’t be done. My brain would force me to stay away from people, or when people confronted me, I would snap at them, tell them to leave me the hell alone, or even just “ignore” them completely…even though that was the opposite of what I wanted.

It would be many years later before I would finally be diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder.

I can’t answer phones either. Speaking in person is already difficult enough; I get anxiety attacks if I’m speaking through a telecommunications device for more than a minute.

Telecommuniphobia…out of all the things that debilitate me in my daily life, that’s the one nobody around me can understand. Even the most understanding and open-minded people can’t get why I would be afraid of performing such a simple task, a task every other person on the planet seems to have no problem doing. “Scared of driving? Yeah, sure, that can be scary. More people die from car crashes each day than any other mode of transportation after all, so I can understand that. But being afraid to talk on a phone? Really? How does that even work?”

Of course no one else would get it. Seems everyone has a phone on them at all times these days. Hell, I’ve seen children with cell phones! With babies being born seemingly with phone-in-hand in this now-hyper-connected era, it makes sense how nobody could ever hope to understand me.

Some good news though: I did eventually make friends through school. Not sure exactly how. I guess because all of us were outsiders, others, in some way. We sort of…just congregated, gravitated towards each other. “Misery loves company,” as the old adage goes, right? These days, I don’t have any trouble speaking with my closest friends — but only with my closest friends. Even still, my mouth and brain don’t coordinate correctly a lot of times and I end up speaking some kind of mixed-up sentences, like my words were put in a blender and they came out all switched around and crap, if that makes sense. So even with my friends, I feel like an idiot. But they know me well. They know about my “quirks” and they don’t judge me for them. They accept me and (usually) don’t make fun of the way I talk.

I still prefer communicating through messages though, even with them. I just feel so much more at ease behind a computer screen. I know that if I make a mistake here, I can simply delete it and rewrite. I can take my time here. I can carefully pick out each and every word. And then I can reread my message/post and check for errors before sending/posting it! It’s like the difference between a real-time strategy game and a turn-based tactical game — quite different, to say the least.

Though, if we’re talking about games, I’m pretty damn good at any of those. What can I say, I’ve got a decade and a half of experience and practice. :P

Too bad practicing the fine art of talking never had any positive effect in me. A mental disorder is not something that can simply be “gotten over.” It’s like telling a cancer patient to “get over it,” it just doesn’t work that way. Certain phobias can certainly be worked on, gradually, but a disorder that has been hard-wired into you since childhood? Yeah…those are pretty much there to stay. I’ve tried every trick in the book to become more sociable, more outgoing, more extroverted, blah, blah, blah. Didn’t work out for me.

Whoa, good gosh, this wall of text! Apologies for all this…

Actually, no, never mind; it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a personal thing, so I think I’m due for one. I’m sure those who didn’t care to read any of my ramblings would have already scrolled past this by now anyway. For those that stuck around, I thank you. I truly appreciate you and people like you. You’re awesome. Keep bein’ awesome. Hopefully you came out of this understanding people a little better — and me, specifically. :)

P5HYPE

handsfreehealing:

handsfreehealing:

Im bored and someone should talk to me about their favorite video game *winks with two eyes*

@@@
healyhq
I choose you are u pump for persona 5 because I am and I don’t even have a ps3 B^)

ARE YOU KIDDING HELL YEAH I’M PUMPED FOR PERSONA 5!
I’ve been speculating like crazy about all kinds of crap.
I’m especially interested in learning about about the new characters, what the velvet room is going to look like this time, who the new assistant will be in the velvet room (if there even is a new one), what the graphical user interface will look like (3 was selecting options via a revolver’s chambers, 4 was as though selecting a TV channel), how the persona users will summon their personae this time (shooting head with evokers in 3, crushing/shattering tarot cards in 4), whether or not they’ll pull a P3P and allow a gender select option (which may change how some social links would go down), etc etc etc. Like, wow, I know it’s over a year away, but my mind won’t stop reeling from all the HYPE HYPE HYPE! :D

Also, I’m totally getting the new P4 Arena game, Persona Q, and Persona 4 Dancing All Night. Can’t get enough of this franchise, yo!

so i did this thing here

Name: taylor
Western Star Sign: gemini, the twins
Chinese Zodiac (Animal): rooster, the perfectionist

Western Element: air, thought

Chinese Element: water
Planet: mercury, inconstant
Yin-Yang Symbol: yin
Celtic Druid Zodiac: fig tree, the sensible
Birthstone: pearl, integrity
Divine Number: nine, the wise
Season: spring
Divine Color: maroon, the instinctive
Day of the Week: monday

Neat! I decided to do one too. Already knew all this info, but it’s cool to have it all in one image now.

Celebrating the One Month Anniversary of ToCW!

Today is an important day to me. It marks the day when the tenth installment of my webserial, Tales of Clockwork Wing was written and posted. It has also been one whole month since the serial started back in January. Wow… It’s almost hard to believe it’s been that long already. Time sure does fly, huh?

For the few of you that read ToCW, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You guys keep me going. I’m well on my way to keeping my new year’s resolution, which was to keep this serial going throughout the entire year. Just eleven (or is it ten now?) more months to go and I’ll have kept that promise I made to myself, as well as to all of you.

Tales of Clockwork Wing was started as a writing experiment. I wanted to better myself as a writer, to hone this craft of storytelling in the written form. I figured, what better way to do that than by holding myself to multiple deadlines every week? It would force me to write and keep writing every single week, no matter what. By the end of the year, I hope to be a much better writer for it.

Will ToCW end once my resolution has been completed? I have no idea how long this story will end up being, as I’m just winging it, writing as I go. All I know is, I don’t plan on ending it until I believe I have fulfilled my original vision for this story. And let me tell ya, we are nowhere near that yet.

Look forward to more Tales of Clockwork Wing, coming at ya every Tuesday and Thursday EST.

ToCW up to Ch. 2

I’m up to Chapter 2 in my w now. My biggest problem is I’m unsure how to weave character descriptions into the prose in a natural way. Describing a character’s physical appearance in the middle of a scene just seems so out of place to me when I try to do so. So I’ve been trying to throw subtle bits and pieces of description gradually over time to build a mental image for the reader. The reader can then “fill in the blanks,” so to speak, to build a more personalized appearance of the character in their mind. I’m not sure if this is a good idea, but hey, Tales of Clockwork Wing was just an excuse to experiment from the start, it just grew into something much greater than I originally anticipated. Haha! Yeah, that tends to happen often with projects of mine. :P

Tales of Clockwork Wing

 As hinted at before, I am starting a webserial. The first installment has been made and new installments will be made (hopefully) every Tuesday and Thursday (Eastern U.S. timezone) from here on out. Hope you guys enjoy the ride. :)

I BEAT COOKIE CLICKER! Yes, indeed, as of today, November 14, 2013, at 4:16PM, I obtained the last obtainable Achievement in Cookie Clicker. I now sit at 100% Achievements unlocked! WOOHOO! I am also the proud owner of the True Neverclick Shadow Achievement. :D

At least, as of version 1.0393. I’m sure more will be added later, of course, but they will be cake for me to get — after resetting this time, I’ll have more than enough Heavenly Chips to get any additional achievements lickity-split. :B

Stupid Goings-On

Been a while since I’ve written a post about what I’ve been up to, soooo… Right now, I’m writing what is probably the stupidest project I’ve ever started, yet I can’t get enough of it. XD

Basically, it’s an Interactive Fiction story/game about a human who learns the dangers of procrastination the hard way. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve got a Tumblr account, so I’m sure you’re acutely aware of such dangers yourself. ;)

This little story/game/thing is a completely light-hearted affair that’s very much self-aware and full of pop culture and old-school references. Also has the occasional Easter egg for those with the patience to find them. Also contains “your mom” jokes, sexual references, drug references, swear words, and dry wit. It is thus in my experience that I determine Tumblr users to be the most likely demographic to enjoy this game. :P

I’ll probably sell it for a few bucks once it’s done. I guess that’ll make this the first piece of writing (first piece of anything, actually) that I’ve ever not just given away for free (I mean, ACCELERATE (that stupid song I wrote/composed/produced/performed) had a “pay what you want” link, but it had no minimum so everyone just put $0 and got it for free (which is totally okay, don’t get me wrong! Because it was awful and I didn’t feel right charging even a buck for it anyway.)). So, yeah, kind of a big step for me. But I’ve been told that I often undervalue the stuff I make by several people, so I suppose I’ll experiment with this and see for myself what the public at large thinks of my crap. :B

I have no idea how it will turn out. Probably a huge failure. But that’s okay too! It’s a learning experience either way. I guess I just want to feel like I’m not wasting my life anymore. I don’t want to work at Walmart forever. It’s still my dream to create things for a living, ya know? I think now is as good a time as ever to start charging for the amount of work I put into the things I do. Even if it’s just a dollar or two.

It’s funny though, that I’d start with this thing. It’s so freaking stupid. Hahaha! But maybe that’s exactly why I should start my indie “career” with this project. I’m not really taking it seriously, because it doesn’t even take itself seriously, which I think can only be a good thing.

I’m too serious about crap, ya see. I try too hard. I rarely ever have fun with my projects anymore, which I think is why I always quit halfway — like, what’s the point of doing this if it’s no fun? I may as well be at work, if that’s the case. But maybe if I stop taking myself and my work so seriously, I can learn to just have fun with things again. I think you can always tell when someone had fun with their work; I think an artist’s work ends up being better when that passion shows through and through.

Hmm…anyway, maybe this new project of mine worth the read/playthrough for its humor. I dunno. I guess we’ll see. I have no idea how it’s gonna play out either. I’m pretty much just winging it, which is totally different from my usual way of going about things. I typically plan stuff out way in advance and follow a strict framework. With this though, I’m just writing-as-I-go. I’ll have no idea what I’m doing with a scene until I start doing it. XD Maybe that will make it worth the effort. I hope it makes people laugh. It’s got a lot of specific references in it so far though, so for people who don’t get the references, I’m not sure how well they’ll take to it. I’ll try to throw in some general humor too so as to broaden the potential audience.Humor has never been my strong suit though…except for when I’m with certain friends — we play so well off each other that we’ve joked about the possibility of our lives being a successful sitcom! :P

So, yeah… wow, I didn’t mean for this post to end up so long. Whoops! My bad, y’all. ^^; Anyway, look forward to the future release of Procrastination Disembarkation, the first (of what I hope will lead to many) creation of mine to hit the market proper. :D

I’ll post about it again once I’ve got more to share.
TTYL, fellow Tumblrers! ^_^

The Deed is Done!

Yes, indeedy, the theme has been revamped for another year! :D

In fact, I even fixed that darned duplicated images bug, which was plaguing me for quite a while. Image-sets should now not have random duplications in their posts. Another bug was not allowing certain image-sets to show up in their entirety, or causing all sorts of weirdness and unexpected results with different post types — this one has also been squashed. Huzzah!

I made sure to keep Infinite Scrolling, that’s something I will always have, because it’s so much more convenient than having to keep clicking to generate new pages. I also think it makes things load a bit faster.

There is one downside though, Disqus comments are no longer available. I don’t feel as though this is a monumental loss, however, since in all the years this blog has been here, only a little over half a dozen comments were ever made by others. Discussion can be generated via Reblogging, as I’ve seen many other blogs do, going back and forth Reblogging a post with replies attached. There’s also the ever-present Ask Me Anything link, which can be used even by folks without Tumblr accounts (if they don’t mind being Anonymous).

Finally, I added an “About Me" page. I always wanted one of those, but never really knew what to say. I still didn’t know what to say, so I just put what’s there for now. Hopefully that’s good enough…

Thanks for dropping by! I hope you enjoy the new and improved HealyHQ!

^_^

I’m thinking I might change my blog’s theme sometime tomorrow. It’s been a while, and I need a change. Of course, we’ll be sticking with the Black/Green/White color scheme, just as with the prior three theme refreshes. That’s a HealyHQ mainstay. :P

HealyHQ.com (as hosted by Tumblr) turned 3 today!

Happy birthday, my glorious website. ^_^

Guess who just got an Oculus Rift headset… THIS guy! :D

Watch as I take my new Rift for a test drive.

Or rather, a test FLIGHT!