This is clearly not the Cave of Excalibur.
Which means that I have been removed.
One cannot simply take me from my cave without first proving that they are worthy!
For I am EXCALIBUR, the HOLY SWORD OF LEGEND.
My legend began in the twelfth century!
*STRIKES A POSE!* “Oh, isn’t he magnificent?”
And the cad who stole me from my cave did not even hear my glorious legend.
However, if the person steps forward now, I shall forgive their heinous theft! And I will possibly knock the list of 1,000 tasks down to a mere 900 tasks! But only because I am Excalibur, and I am merciful.
Now step forward, cad, and admit your wrongdoing!